Are you offended? Get over it!

Ok, it wasn't put in quite the way of my title but I've got to grab your attention somehow and I can be shameless in attention-grabbing headlines - look out UK nationals!

So what am I talking about? Well yesterday's post started off a subject, that of being bitter about actions of others that have impacted one's life and coming to a point of letting go, of forgiving and releasing them.

This was with reference to men, be they close relatives or previous relationships that went awry.

God decided He wanted to continue the conversation today. This happened whilst I was on the internet, of all places (probably one of the key places to get offended at something real quick!). As I was going through various blogs, church websites and the like, I began to think about people from church that, for one reason or another, I felt badly towards. Some of these people are no longer alive, some have not remained in my life, some are currently around in a position to influence me or not. But with each face that passed through my mind, I could feel rejection, upset and offence. They had hurt me in some way. As I continued to think on this, I realised that, for some of them, I wasn't even actually sure they had done something to validate my feeling of offence, merely that I suspected they thought such-and-such.

Hmmm. It's one thing to have something you can actually point to and say "they did that" but then taking it to "well they looked at me in a funny way" or "I know what they are thinking, they think I'm ...."!

And it was here that God challenged me. In light of yesterday and where God asked me to forgive, to let go of the marah waters in my heart in exchange for clean water of His Spirit (think I may have forgotten to share that yesterday!), here was another task. See, when God gets onto a topic, we address it then move on. We think we're done but God is into slow cooking. I reckon the slow cooker was His invention. He wants us to simmer on the thoughts He's placed in our minds till we see change, renewal. Sometimes He'll take us off the cooker, move us on to another stage then He'll take us back to that same topic at a later date.

Slightly off subject there, sorry! Anyway, I began to think about these Christians who may or may not have actually done something to upset me, intentionally or unintentionally. It didn't matter either way, God wanted me to release these same people in the way I'd released the men yesterday. I was to forgive for the offence, real or imagined, then repent of bitterness in my heart and then extend God's grace and freedom to those individuals. A couple are/were pastors and I felt to pray for them specifically regarding their ministries and to pray blessing and double portions on their works. Today, no tears but a feeling of doing business with God, of getting down to nitty gritty.

As with all these challenges, I know I will come up against this soon, to see whether I will remain in forgiveness or try to take back all the feelings of hurt again, let bitterness grow and have a foothold once again in my life. I will probably fluff it a few times, sometimes I will actually be able to resist. In both cases, God will be with me and will encourage me because, in His love for me, He wants me free of this.

In the writing of this post, I've just remembered yet another church authority figure whom I really need to forgive so even now, God is working.

Think about it, is there a Christian that you need to forgive, whatever the reason, real or imagined? Do you need to forgive, release them from your judgement then pray God's blessing on them?

Think carefully. I believe there is freedom for ourselves to be gained here.



If you pray it, live it!

So God presented me with another challenge recently. I have been praying about certain family members, certain situations.

For one family member, I have had a problem with this person for about a year now due to a letter sent which criticised me and I found very hurtful. I am not good at letting things go or forgiving. I tend to hold on to the hurt or, having forgiven, then go ahead and take up the resentment again. Not exactly a Christian attitude. Increasingly I have felt antagonistic towards this person but felt the challenge to pray for this person. So I have done but it's been through gritted teeth, if I'm honest.

Another family member I have been praying for their salvation, their freedom from an addiction (which they don't recognise as an addiction) and my relationship with them. In particular this person has such an affect on my life, more than they could possibly realise.

Well this second person and I have been getting on fabulously of late and I have been so chuffed. Then, yesterday, things went pear-shaped. Things were said and this morning, I found myself getting angry, annoyed and taking my typical route of re-hashing in my mind an array of actions or words which have hurt me. I could feel myself getting very worked up, very "it's not fair" and poking out my bottom lip like a 4yr old!

Only the night before I had been praying for this person and asking God to bless them, I prayed forgiveness over them and asked God to give me love and patience towards them. Now here I was and already doing my usual getting worked up about them and forgetting my prayers.

It was right at this point I felt God say to me "are you going to keep praying for him and others then just act in the opposite of what you have just asked Me for?" Well, it made me pause then feel rather guilty. It was a very valid point. Would you ask someone to help you with a problem then, having done that, start acting in a way which would then actually make the problem worse rather than better? Of course not! How stupid and pointless would that be!

This is no different. I felt the challenge from God to be that, if I'm going to pray for people about issues which directly impact me then I need to live out my part, take that necessary action to become part of the answer to my prayer and give God room to work.

It's the same with my parents who are now elderly. My mother can be trying sometimes as, in her aging, her memory and also her wisdom in saying certain things falters. Some things can be hurtful but, as I pray, I have to remember not to get wound up by actions or words and to remember to love, honour and obey them both.

So the lesson and challenge for me at this time is if I want God to work in a person's life and they have a relationship with me I must remember to show God's love to them time and again whether through forgiveness, patience, not taking offence at everything or getting annoyed with them for every small infraction. I must be gracious to them because God has shown me grace and boy how I need his grace today and every day.

Help me in this God, I certainly can't do this in my own strength as I prove on a daily basis!