If you are from the UK, you will recognize this as being the strap line for BT (British Telecoms) and Bob Hoskins, an famous actor, used to speak this line at the end of the televised advert.
So why am I blogging about this?
It started a few weeks back. A loved one and I just seemed to be guessing what was going on in the other's life. Because we didn't want to upset the other, we stopped talking. No, I don't mean cease all communication. I mean we stopped talking about the things that matter to us. We would talk about the news, the weather, the shopping but not about what was going on inside of us. In particular, I was worrying about a number of issues including Christmas, whether I could invite my family for Christmas Day lunch, financial worries and bills to be paid, a sweet young family member's recent trauma and, finally, relationship issues, all of which were tormenting me. I grew very distant and this made my loved one very concerned. When asked what was wrong, I would just deny anything was wrong then carry on moping around the house or the office.
So not only was I increasing the worry of this family member but I was also isolating myself and increasing my stress levels too. I was feeling increasingly swamped by these worries. Did I pray about them?
Nope, God got shut out too. When I close down, I shut everyone out, close friends, God, family, work colleagues.
Who exactly was being helped by this, by my shutting down? No-one!
No-one was benefitting from my largesse to "not burden people with my problems". Instead it seemed far better to burden them with my silence, my hangdog expression and the cloud that grew bigger over my head (yes, this is sarcasm).
Finally, after much prodding and poking and, nearly 3 weeks later, I opened up. It wasn't done in a relieved way but rather resentfully, as though people had intruded on my personal pity party which, if I'm totally honest, this had now become. I had gone from having genuine worries to allowing this to escalate into a "Oh poor me, the world hates me and it's all so unfair" fest of self-pity.
But, fortunately for me, the one listening to me understood what was going on and let me rumble on then, when I had finished, proceeded to go through my worries, one by one, addressing them with either a solution or atleast putting them into some perspective.
The following day, I felt lighter in my being, I was relieved and could actually smile again. I realised that, had I just talked to my beloved, to a friend, to God, to someone, it would have helped, not necessarily with the actual issues but to atleast talk about it and get it off my chest, so to speak. This is how women tend to process things in their lives, through conversation.
Now with men, it seems slightly different. They don't necessarily want to talk through problems, they prefer to ponder it themselves, coming up with a solution in time (I realise this could be a crass generalization but I'm going by all the chaps I've either spent time with (father, husband, stepson, work colleagues) or heard about from friends (their husbands, fathers etc etc).
But even when this is the case, when my husband worries about things, he generally stops communicating with me. This puts a strain on the relationship and I can start imagining things that aren't there because we aren't talking. When we have finally touched on what is going on with him, the air is cleared and, whilst the problem may still exist, the relationship itself is restored because there is finally understanding as to what is going on and what support can be given.
In a worst case scenario, problems can spiral out of hand when communication ceases between people, be they husbands and wives, employee and employer, friends, relatives.
Communication is essential.
It's the same with God. I think we get hung up on prayer sometimes because we think of it as "PRAYER", this lofty subject in capital letters which is breathed in hushed reverant tones and that only special people can really master. To employ a quaint English exclamation, poppycock!
Prayer is talking to God. In the same was that our conversations vary with different people and in different circumstances, there are times when we will be reverant in our conversations with God as we address His Majesty, as King and Master of the universe. But then other times we can talk stutteringly, in between sobs, as we pour out our sorrows to Daddy in Heaven. Yet other times we will speak to Him with great excitement, loudly even boisterously as we either praise Him or thank Him for Himself, for answered prayer or in praying for people or events. But, like I did recently, we can forget that God wants relationship with us and that includes all the crappy parts of our lives so stopping talking to Him because we don't want to bother Him is a bit pathetic, to be honest. He is the one Person who will never judge us, will never hold any of what we say against us and will give us His appropriate response - correction, comfort, knowledge, wisdom, boldness, encouragement, sometimes even silence when it's what we need.
This is what a relationship is. It's the hard times as well as the good times. A truly great relationship is found when you can talk about all the aspects of your life and know that the person you are sharing this with will keep it private when the topic requires it, will honour the trust you are placing in them and will try to help when they can.
I have realised that I need to talk to God more. I get very caught up in other things, some of which are equally important but can stop me from doing that one thing that I need to do above all others, communicate daily with my Father, share with Him all the aspects of my life, my sins, my worries, my happiness, everything. I want to grow in my relationship with God, I want to talk to Him more and open up to Him so He can do more in my life, share His thoughts with me and change me from the inside out. This will happen, can't help but happen, if I communicate with, talk to Him daily.
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