Button-pushing, Strongholds and Love



Ever had a time when some of your biggest fears seem to be prodded almost daily? Ever been confronted with an aspect of your character that you didn't like, swear to change it then find that daily, you fall down in that particular area?

If you're human then, at some point in your life, you will have experienced one or both of these cirumstances.
Why do these things happen, especially if you're trying so hard to overcome that fear, making every effort to knock that bad attitude on the head? It can wear a body down and, if you're not careful, you can find yourself just saying "oh well, it's me. I can't change. It's just too hard. You can even feel like stamping your feet and saying "it's not fair!". Go on, be honest now.

 One of my great fears is rejection. I feel sick when I think people don't like me and, as I've touched on in previous posts, I'm a bit of a people-pleaser. Common sense tells me this is from my own insecurities but knowing that doesn't actually change anything. In the last seven days, I've come up against real and perceived rejection. It's hurt and angered me.

These experiences have caused me to now confront something unpleasant in my character.It's the old "tit for tat" attitude. If you hurt me by rejecting me then I'm going to behave this way (withdraw from you emotionally and sometimes physically or go on the attack and either be upfront rude or mutter under my breath or to others). I agree, it's pretty infantile behaviour really and not how a supposedly mature Christian should act. I should add here that "mature" is said tongue-in-cheek. I may have been a Christian for 30+ years but I act as though I have all the understanding of a newborn (I actually think most newborns are ahead of me really).

I've been pondering this, inbetween my mood swings of sadness at the rejection then anger at the "perpetrators", and have had some thoughts in the following order :

1. Early in the week and even up to this morning - It's the devil's fault. He knows I want to press on in God this year. He knows I want to see radical change in my life so he's chosen one of my key areas and decided to start punching that button, all the while laughing at my lack of faith whilst I boo-hoo to myself about being rejected. He must be chuckling away as I do some of his job for him in ignoring some people, whispering about people (me, who hates gossip, supposedly!). So I've thought about spiritual warfare, how might I fight him, how I need to plead for God to get him off my case so I can continue my walk in peace and harmony.
2. In the last hour or so (I like to keep things current) - If I've been praying for God to change my heart and draw me closer to Him, won't God want me to face these things - fear of rejection, the angry attitude and selfish behaviour? God spoke to me earlier this year (see my previous post) and told me that this year would be about strongholds and their removal. Well, fear plays a big part in my life and drives quite a bit of what comes out of my mouth, how  I act and also what I don't say and don't do.Fear of rejection is one of the strongest fears I have. Wouldn't God, in His love, want to tear that stronghold down in my life? So who is responsible for these circumstances? I'm not going to say God because I don't think He makes people reject us or make us think we are being rejected even when we aren't. I do, however, believe He will make use of such events in our lives for His own purpose.

So my conclusion is, if you have recently been praying for God to move in your life, to change you and make you more like Jesus, to being you closer to your Father where you can experience more of His love and fall in love with Him yourself, don't be surprised if things get tough suddenly. I think God is answering your prayer because He takes what you say seriously (sadly sometimes what we pray about, we're not actually that serious about).

So, thanks to a good friend, I've been reminded of Romans 8: 38-39. "38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

If I feel I'm being rejected I need to use what God has so generously given to me, His Word, and pray it over myself, declare it aloud and, most importantly, BELIEVE IT! It's pointless spouting this stuff unless there is belief that it's true and, if that's the case, then pray God will help you to believe it. I will be doing that for myself because it's easy to believe it for others but not for one's self - such an error.

God's love is such that He isn't out to trip us up but that, in the confronting of the attitude, the fear, there would come understanding, repentance if required, forgiveness, healing and release. It can happen.

I write this post as much for myself as for anyone who might read it. I can be very slow-witted when it comes to God, His love for me, the promise of His Word.  So, in putting this in print, I want to reinforce the message that God does answer our prayers for change but, in doing so, He may have to take us out of a comfort zone and make us uncomfortable so He can bring about that change we long for.

Hold on, keep going, persevere.I'm running with you. Let's press on.

Philippians 1:6

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

The One who cares

Life can be overwhelming.


At work, the boss just isn't making himself clear, his lack of communication is bugging you.
Or you are the boss and you have been faced with impossible tasks and business decisions that will affect the lives of others, there is so much pressure to make sure you keep everyone happy yet turn a profit or stay afloat.


You have been hit with a number of awful occurrences, a broken marriage, debts which are now out of control, a victim of abuse. Your job is on the line.
You're facing a long and difficult illness and you worry about your children. What happens to them if you succumb to this illness? What about if you survive but you've had to take alot of time from work and now your employers regret that they will have to let you go? What about the bills coming in still?
Your parents are elderly, health failing and, as they get older, they get harder to take care of. You are trying to take care of them but you have your own family demands too, children at school who need your attention.
Life just gets so busy and it doesn't even have to be some of the more drastic ones above, it can just be the day to day tasks but everything seems to come at once and you can't split yourself into enough pieces


We all have this, its part of the human experience where we just don't know which way is up or down.
This may sound simplistic but, if you are a Christian, you can go to Someone in prayer. You can cry out to God. He may not actually remove any of these factors. That's a whole other post. But you can still go to God. He is the one Person whom you can just spill it all out at. He won't tell you to pull yourself together. He won't say there there never mind


The fact of just being able to talk to God about it is a form of release. Even if, initially, we don't actually feel any better for it (and I know because I have had those times), the very fact of opening that part of our lives to God gives the option for change, for allowing His Spirit into that situation.
Sometimes God will remove the thorn that causes pain or anger or irritation, even all three. Other times He wont. But in every case, God cares for us and wants us to go to Him


1 Peter 5 v7 says "⁷ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Ps 94 v 18 says "And when I was burdened with worries,you comforted me and made me feel secure."


So why am I telling you this? 


Well, my husband, who isn't a Christian, is going through tough times at work. He is under a lot of stress. In addition to that, two other family members are experiencing disappointment, stress, anxiety about finances, future of children. There are worries about harmful recent experiences and how this will affect them in the future, there is broken relationship. Neither of these other family members are Christians.
As I've spoken to them, listened to their worries, I have silently prayed for them, pleading with God on their behalf (no, I'm not all that as a Christian so please don't think this is me congratulating myself).
What has occurred to me is that, as a Christian, I believe that God my Father does actually give a stuff about me. The Bible tells me this is also true (see the above verses). David frequently spoke of his troubles and trials to God. Just read the Psalms. But people who have no belief, who do they turn to?


Well, yes, they can turn to family members, they can turn to friends. But as we all have our own issues to deal with, one can be reluctant to burden others with our own problems. There may be reasons why we can't involve others. This can make us feel isolated, alone in a morass of problems which no-one can rescue us from. Depression can also shut us in a room in our mind where no-one can reach us. Either way, it's very lonely there.
As I have prayed for these dear ones (no, I'm not congratulating myself on being Super Christian, I'm so not), I've had a revelation.
1) I am so blessed. God loved me so much that He sent someone to take time out to tell me about Jesus, to talk me through salvation and what it means and then God's Spirit prompted me to accept this gift of salvation and ask Jesus into my life. As a result, even when things are bad, I can turn to God always. I might rant and rail Him like David did. Our God is big enough to take this. But always, I know that He is there and that He does care. He knows the number of hairs on my head, He has all my tears collected and He values me more than the sparrows He provides for. What a privilege and a blessing to know God and to know I can cast my burdens on Him. I am never alone.
2) What about those who don't know God? Where do they go when the chips are down? When they lay in bed at night, worrying about those financial reports to be made, when they worry about how the next electricity bill will be met, when they are angry and feel that their trust has been irreparably broken and that no-one believes them or the hurt they've suffered? Who do they turn to? If they don't believe in a God that cares it doesn't leave them much.



That's what we have to do, be His hands and feet practically but also be ready to  speak up and point Him out so that they too might have the opportunity of being able to go to the God that cares about them.


Do you need to help someone today? To be God's hands and feet? Are you feeling lonely in your world of problems that just won't go away? Call on Him, please. He wants hear from you. He does care.

More Encouragement for 2011



I have had a week of incredible blessing! From wonderful, encouraging emails and tweets from a dear friend, to being able to help someone out to getting to spend time in God's house with His people and praying and praising with them. I've had great compliments on how I'm looking, having lost 2 1/2 stone in the last 6 months.

2010 was a journey regarding physical issues, fitness, health and diet. I gave up smoking in Novemeber 2009 and was delighted, following two silly attempts to restart (why??) that God just took away the enjoyment of it. I actually felt really unwell after getting half way through the last cigarette I shall ever smoke on this earth! Thank you, God. He knows my weaknesses so well.

I began to exercise more - I can be incredibly lazy (and yes, that is still an issue for me from time to time). I also saw a nutritionist and realised my eyes were indeed bigger than my belly - I always put more food on my plate than my body actually needs! I'm still walking this out but there has been victory and I'm so glad for it.

But now, we are in a new year. This seems to be the time when people do look at their weight, their lack of exercise and make plans to work out, to eat less, to do something about it and change their habits so they will be healthy and fit.

For me, following a conversation with a friend, I felt God say to me that this year, 2011, would be a year where I would bring my mind into mental fitness. That 2011 is a year for me to get disciplined in my thought life. I feel the challenge to fill my mind with the things of God, to quote Phil 4:8, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." For years, ever since I became a Christian, I have struggled to get a love for the Bible, God's word to us. Considering there are people who would willingly risk all to have just a chapter, I feel ashamed that I have not valued it as much as I could have. But God is calling me, and others I believe, to pray for a deep love and reverence for His words to us. The Bible tells us of the Mind of God. If I want to grow to know God more, if I want to fall in love with Him, if I want to know His will for my life, surely the Bible is where I should start?!

At the moment, God seems to be encouraging me through the book of Philippians. It seems to be following me around. A friend has felt verses specifically for both of us from this book. Today at church, the sermon came from Philippians 3: 12-14. There has been exhortation, both from people and devotionals, to press in. Its a new year, a new beginning. There are opportunities for a fresh start, for new adventures in God. This year is a call to get serious with our training, to limber up for that race, to begin to stretch those legs and get stuck into endurance training.

God wants to move His Bride forward. I feel this is to be a year where people will see breakthroughs in areas they never even dreamed would be touched by the Power of God. Many have been on a journey where they have struggled, where they have been tempted, where they have battled and maybe grown weary of the fight. It seems that God is saying "C'mon, this is the last big push. Victory is around the corner. I'm shouting for you, I'm screaming at the top of My lungs for you to break through that tape, to complete the race. Victory is there, just cross the finish line. Go for it!"
If there is anything that you have been praying for in what seems like an eternity, with no sign of results, keep pressing in. I want to encourage you as I sense that God is about to release a shower of answers for His people. Finances will be released, loved ones saved, healings will finally come, that thing you've longed for in your heart for so long that it pains you to think about it - hold it up to God again. He's going to answer your heart's cry.


Right, well didn't quite expect to begin prophesying....(not something I step out in often!) God, blow on that and let it reach who it needs to reach.

So to continue with my post, I note also the encouragement to dust off dreams that have been held and maybe even allowed to die. The internet seems to ring with the sound of God's people hearing Him say that it's time to follow those dreams, to step out in them. I notice alot of people, including Vicky Beeching, have been quoting an article which talks about being afraid to succeed - Marianne Williamson, Return to Love. Others talk about people who are trying to stop one from realising their dreams. I can honestly say I know I am the one that has stopped me following my dream. Its through fear, fear of failure, fear of what others might say. Fear of getting it wrong or being ridiculed. My dream is to write about my experiences, to write how, inspite of being in the darkest places, God can break through and hold a person, even as they continue to experience things a person should never hope to experience nor would dream of for their own life or that of their children. I've had the encouragement from two close friends to begin writing but I continue to procrastinate.

Again, I feel God encouraging me that, this year 2011, this is the year I begin to take up the pen, put those words to paper and that, as I step out in obedience, He will breath on those words and what He wants accomplished through it will come to be.

Lastly, for me, I have posted before on the problems I have always had with witnessing for my faith in God. I am a people pleaser. I confess it. I long to be loved, wanted, part of the group. Sarah Markley had a post recently about being part of the gang, children's games, and feeling left out, unwanted. How it's time to grow up, to get beyond that and move on. I think this has been a part of my problem. Always seeking approval of others to the detriment of what God thinks, His approval so I've kept my mouth shut, I've stayed silent when I should have spoken up. 2011 I believe is the year this changes. God has been challenging me and challenging me on this and I believe, as I begin to fall in love with His words, as I fall in love with my first love again, He will remove that which has kept me locked up for so long. He will break my fear of man and I will no longer be an "undercover God botherer" as is quoted in my bio for Twitter. Instead I will be bold and ready to share my faith in God, ready to point people to Jesus. I believe it and I'm going to pray for it.

So I encourage any who reads this post to look to God for that fresh start, that new beginning. Seek Him for the renewal of love for Him and His word, the Bible. Seek Him for the rebirth of dreams maybe long forgotten or walled away in shadows from neglect. Look to Him for freedom from long term sins or habits or fears that make you slow in the race. Limber up, get those shoes on and get ready to surge past that finishing tape. Press on!


Phil 4:14 " I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us"

Encouragement for the New Year, 2011

I love it when God chooses to use the everyday events of life to speak to me about matters on His heart. I love it even more when I actually happen to be listening and don't miss what He's saying (let's be honest, haven't all of us at one time or another been asleep or listening to other voices when God speaks?).

Well, right at the outset, God wanted to encourage me regarding this year, all of my future really.

I have to give you some background to the way my mind works, struggles I've had in the past.
You see, I used to get really bent out of shape about the approaching New Year. Instead of looking at it with anticipation of new experiences, new challenges, chances for happiness and joy, I used to cry with fear and worry. I used to look at the New Year as being filled with problems, disasters round every corner and, instead of a chance to do well, a chance to screw up my life a bit more. Yup, it was deeply depressing being around me on New Year's Eve, certainly not a fun-filled evening!

After Boxing Day, things got a little tired and fractious at home. As much as it is lovely to spend time with family, have the big feast etc, it can also tire one out, together with the inevitable pig out on food.  Anyway, my fears regarding the future started to crowd in on me. My emotions started to flit all over the place, I was depressed, worried of others' thoughts on me. Old problems with food returned and imagined upsets. All my weak points were poked and prodded and I felt I was coming apart at the seams.

By the time I returned to work on 29th, I was in pieces. But I finally began to speak to God about it all. Why does it take us so long to go to God about these things? Well, what I mean is, why does it take me so long to go to God about these things when previous experiences has taught me He is the first stop and only stop for such matters.

Anyway, as I began to pray, I kept hearing a song that a close friend had sung to me years ago when she was at YWAM ("Youth With a Mission") on short term missions. The song was "Let God arise and let His enemies be scattered". It's not the Chris Tomlin version, I think it's a hymn. Anyway, this kept going round and round my head as I prayed and then, flash of light - EUREKA moment! God encouraged me to lift Him up in praise, to worship Him and in doing so, His enemies (and mine) would flee. This can include the enemies in one's mind, those thoughts that rise unbidden that take our eyes off Jesus and onto ourselves. Basically such thinking reduces God in our minds and our problems, real or perceived, can become the dominent feature in our life.

So this was the first encouragement.

The next was further upsets at home. Now my usual reaction is to push with questions "what's wrong?", "What have I done?" (on the assumption it has to be my fault), "why are you being difficult with me?".
This normally makes the situation worse and can lead to further disagreements and upsets.
But, following on from the Wednesday, I had actually taken note so decided again to pray before doing anything, including talking.

God was very clear on this matter, "Look to Me first. Look to Me only for your affirmation. Look to Me for your confidence. Base your attitude, heart and mind and outlook on what you hear from Me, not from others. Don't be so easily swayed by the atmosphere of others' emotions but instead take lead from Me".
So I elected to do this very thing.  Now I was very fortunate because the atmosphere did improve and all was well but, even if it hadn't, I did feel a lightness in my heart, something I don't normally feel. I tend to be a human barometer for the emotional atmosphere both at home and in the office.

I find it a huge challenge that Christians are to be the the salt, the ones who can and should make the difference. If I'm honest, I'm usually the one leading the charge in negativity. Not something I'm proud of.

Finally, God used a shopping trip, yes a shopping trip to round of His encouragement for the New Year. My hubs decided to take me out shopping for some new clothes. I have lost quite a bit of weight recently and, with it being the sales, hubs thought he would treat me to some new outfits. I decided to spruce myself up and painted my nails a lovely purple. Whilst we at one particular shop, my hubs had me try on a few items which were purple, shirts and cardigans. We ended up getting them. He also treated me to a new handbag, a purple one!

So I got home and began a little fashion parade in my room, enjoying the feel and look of new clothes. As I preened infront of the mirror, God reminded me that purple is a royal colour and that, instead of always doing myself down, always seeing the bad in myself and never any good, He reminded me that I am a member of the Royal Family, His Royal Family. I am a daughter of the King of Kings. God told me that, from 2011, I am to view myself as He sees me. It's time to tell and believe the truth of who I am, not who the devil says I am. This isn't to say I cover over sins, over bad habits and errors in thinking but to see myself in a true light. Quite a challenge - yes, I am a rather pessimistic person!

So I am feeling truly feeling uplifted and encouraged now. I realise that I will have to keep reminding myself of this because there will inevitably be times when I forget.

What has God been saying to you recently?